We live in a world where it’s so cool to get angry. If you’re not offended by something, you’re lying. It’s so easy to speak out about what pisses us off because we have the world literally in our fingertips. We are thriving off of being divided. We are creating problems where there aren’t any. We are getting angry about things that aren’t important.

Why do we have high blood pressure? Why is anxiety and depression running so rampant? Why are people literally dying every day due to a road rage accident? Why do we let our anger control us? And believe me, if you pull out in front of me doing 35 while I’m going 50, my blood pressure freaking skyrockets. 

We keep fighting battles with each other about things that don’t matter. I got mad at a friend of mine last week for something so stupid and I find myself wondering why getting mad feels so good. Being angry has become something that’s cool. I get mad at strangers for walking too slow in the grocery store. I’ve seen all out screaming arguments over the absolute stupidest crap just because someone didn’t hear the other person right.

Starting a fight is so cool because we’re “standing up for ourselves.” Wrong. In most cases, that’s not even what’s happening. Stop trying to be a badass. Stop making nothing into something… and stop putting your energy into pointless arguments. 

Pick your battles with both strangers and the people around you. Do you want to lose your significant other over a misunderstanding? Do you want to be in a car accident because you flipped someone the bird and cussed at them because they cut you off? Do you want to risk pushing a friend away because you felt they weren’t being supportive enough? Is it worth getting your adrenaline running and nearly boiling because a customer was rude to you? 

I will say it again… Pick your battles.

If it’s worth an argument, I will be the first person to start one. If I have to stand up for myself, I’ll get right off the couch. I will not be walked on or talked down to. But I am going to start trying to lengthen my fuse. I am going to start watching my words because getting angry over nothing sucks, it takes everything out of you mentally and physically. Keep the past in the past. Forgive the ex who hurt you. Forgive the friend who betrayed you. The anger isn’t worth holding on to. If everyone chose just one thing every day to let go and not act on, maybe we could start focusing on the things that actually matter. 

For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let’s fight the wars. Let’s fight for a better healthcare system, for people to get the help they need without going bankrupt or homeless. Let’s fight for people to get the therapy they need without being put down and made to feel weak. Let’s fight for the ones who can’t fight for themselves… for the unborn babies, for the children in poverty, for those around us struggling with addiction, for the brave veterans who fought for US but are homeless, for the animals who only know hate. There are so many things more important than getting angry over something dumb and we all know that we waste energy over dumb stuff sometimes.

Let’s turn our anger into meaningful feelings, into positive action, into repairing the divide. I know we’ve got anger in us. I know I’m going to get mad about something dumb but let’s try to not let our anger drive us. Everyone is fighting a battle of their own and everyone is struggling with stuff that the world doesn’t see so can we please start trying to spread a little more love? Can we show our children, our students, our patients, our loved ones a little more love? This world needs way less hate, my friends. 

An Open Letter to the Girl I Was One Year Ago

To the girl I was one year ago:

You are not meant to spend every weekend living in the shadow of a man who is incapable of love, compassion, and kindness.

You are not meant to be in a relationship where you feel more lonely than you did when you were single.  To be working, going to school, bettering yourself while he sits at home playing video games because his poor tummy hurts too much to go to work today.

You are not meant to spend every minute of your life making excuses to your friends and family for why you are allowing yourself to be treated badly. You are not this defensive, angry person you have become.

You are not meant to be unhappy and living in depression, always being told that you are either “too much” or “not enough.” Because let me tell you from experience, it is possible to be called both of those things together.

You ARE meant to overcome this, and move past this chapter of your life, because that’s all it is. Just a chapter that you have to get through and then close.

You can change your story. It’s not easy. It might be the most painful thing you’ve ever done but it will be the best thing you can ever do for yourself. Cut ties from the dead weight.

You are strong, and beautiful, and capable of all the things you’re being told “no” to. You are brilliant. You are talented. Your life is not a waste. You are something. You ARE somebody who is deserving of love.

You are smart enough. You ARE enough. The things that others say “too much” to are your most valuable assets, do not ever forget that. Your hustle, your busy mindset, your need to achieve… these are not problems. These are the traits that are going to help you build your damn empire. 

The ugly truth about the girl I was a year ago is that I was in complete disbelief of every one of these statements. I was actually a completely different human being… I had become someone my family didn’t recognize… hell, I didn’t recognize myself. The life had been sucked out of me. Until I got out of the situation and I changed my thoughts. I remembered who I was and worked my ass off to get to where I am right now.

And the woman I am today is burying the girl I was one year ago.

I invite you to join me. I invite you to take the steps necessary to be you again. To find your happiness again. Go back to when you were a child and you didn’t care what anyone thought. Be that version of you again. Kick ass, take names, and find your peace again. It is out there, I promise.