Gifts

Some people have to work incredibly hard for things that come incredibly easy for others.

I have to work my butt off to complete one homework assignment in my statistics class while some students complete 5 in the same amount of time.

I can sit down and write a blog post or an essay in ten minutes because I am great at writing and putting my thoughts on paper. Some people struggle to get their thoughts down and essays are their worst nightmares.

Some people have to strategically diet and exercise to lose a pound while others can eat cheeseburgers and never gain a pound. Some people have to work hard to gain weight while others, like my blessed self, can eat a snap pea and still gain weight.

All jokes aside, what’s easy for you might be hard for me and what’s tough for you might be something I can do in my sleep. We all have gifts given to us by a God who knew us before we were in our mother’s womb.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart. {Jeremiah 1:5}

He set us apart from others before we were even born, y’all. Our gifts are OURS and that is something you can take to the bank and cash in. Don’t compare what he’s doing or what she’s selling to what you’re accomplishing. You’re on completely different paths with completely different gifts on a completely different timeline, and that is perfectly okay. Embrace your gifts, and don’t be afraid to work hard for what you want because anything is within your reach.

Queens

I am incredibly lucky right now to be able to say that I have many friends, some I’ve known for a long time and some I’ve know for a month, but I have people that support and love me. And I feel so so lucky. This post is dedicated to y’all.

I haven’t always been this lucky though. When my ex and I broke up, my family had my back but I had no friends. Absolutely none. So I started reaching out to people and rebuilding my life.

I take that back. My sister, my lifelong best friend, has never left me to suffer alone. She has been there through some of my toughest times, for my entire life. When I was 16 and got stood up for the first time, she made me take her and her boyfriend out since I was dressed and didn’t need to waste a decent outfit. Even tonight, she took the nail polish off my toes for me because I was too lazy to do it. I don’t know what I would do without her and I will always be grateful that God chose us for each other.

Thank goodness also for a coworker of mine who I truly think of as a best friend. She doesn’t judge me and I’m thankful that I can come to work and talk her ears off OR say nothing at all, and she still supports me.

I messaged his ex from before me. We couldn’t stand each other for years but we’re so much alike and our friendship works so well. We found out that he treated us the same. That he talked us out of doing things to improve our lives because he wants the girl he’s with to be below him. We found out that our shared experience with this boy was something that we could bond over for the time being but now we have so much to talk about. She’s smart, bold, and successful. I consider her to be one of my best friends. I’m even going to her wedding, and if that’s not a friendship turn around, I don’t know what is.

Then I reached out to a sweet girl from high school. We went to eat Mexican food for lunch and ended up sitting in that booth, laughing and talking until almost 5 in the afternoon. That lunch was the most I had laughed in months, and I will always be grateful to her for making me realize that I was still in there. She’s funny, nice as all get out, and has such a sweet soul. Another best friend.

I worked with a kid at Subway years ago who had a girlfriend (at the time) that I looked up to so much. She was working as a CNA at the time and working on getting her pre-requisites done. I was thiiiinking about pursuing nursing but little does she know, she is the one who really inspired me to do that. Fast forward to the summer my life felt like it was falling apart, and there she was in my anatomy class! She’s intelligent, hard working, and so caring. We became close again and we still keep in touch because our journeys are so alike in so many ways.

And tomorrow, I’m meeting a friend of mine who I went through CNA school with for dinner. We wiped butts together y’all and now we’re both going to nursing school… she’s almost done actually and she’s going to do so well. She was my clinical partner for a semester, but a friend for life. And I am thankful to still be able to reach out to her and know that she would still be here for me if I needed her.

I have had people who I trusted that broke my heart. I have had best friends who told lies about me, turned our mutual friends away from me. Some of these people have reached out to me since, so we’re rebuilding our friendships and are closer than ever! Sometimes our friends hurt us without the intentions of hurting us, and I get that. Some of these people, though, pretend like I don’t exist and that’s fine too because I am not for everybody.

I am honest, and loud, and boy once I start on something, there’s no stopping me. I’m opinionated without being judgey… but I’ve been shushed for a long time so now I’m out here making my presence known. I have my share of flaws, I’ve done things I’m not proud of but I will own up to it. I am so thankful that I have a few close friends who accept my personality, and love me even more for just being myself. I am so warmed by the people I have around me and for the first time in a long time, I am happy to say that I am 100% okay if you want to judge me by who I surround myself with because I am surrounded by strong, wonderful people.

Real queens fix each other’s crowns.

The Journey Begins


I’ve been on many journeys in my life, as most of us have. To start, I’ve been on a mental and spiritual wellness journey for years. I’ve been on an academic journey for my entire life which is finally starting to pay off for me. I’ve been on a weight loss journey for a good portion of my life as its been something I’ve always struggled with. The latest journey has been no cakewalk, in fact it’s probably been the toughest one to date. I was in a bad relationship and I’ve been struggling to re-find myself after that and to see the good I have to offer. I’ve found that talking through my hard times really helps me and I’ve found that so many other people have been in the same boat I was, or worse.

I’m learning that my past is not my present, or my future. I’m learning that what I’ve been through is not who I am. I am not the words that people say I am. I am not the mistakes I’ve made. I am not a number on the scale or a t-shirt size. These things do not define me. I am who God says I am, He defines me. I can rest easy in that sentiment.

So I’m starting this blog as a way to talk about my feelings, share some inspiration with y’all, and maybe just some good stories here and there. I’ve always loved writing, and I’m pretty dang good at it if I do say so myself.

So buckle up and enjoy!