Life Update?! 2020

Hey guys! I realized a few weeks ago that I haven’t made a blog post since 2019?! Which, as we all are very aware, 2020 has been an emotional rollercoaster and just one thing after another.

February 1st, exactly a week before my 21st birthday, and during a stressful time in the semester, my great grandmother passed away. She had been unresponsive for a week prior to passing and hadn’t spoken in days when, 3 days before she went to be with Jesus, I walked in her room to hold her hand and tell her that I love her and she opened her eyes just a little bit and said “I love you too, Hannah.” As far as I know, I’m the last person she spoke a whole sentence to and that was a beautiful thing. I think she knew that I needed to hear her say it one last time, and honestly I would give anything to hear it again right now.

I haven’t really had time to grieve, even now and we’re in July already. She was so proud of me and I know she’d be proud of me right now. Anyway, Covid-19 came soon after and school was shut down which created the most difficult semester I’ve experienced yet. Then the semester ended, and I started online classes for the summer. Last week, I lost my grandpa on my mom’s side and while I didn’t know him a lot of my life, we became close during the last several years and I miss him a lot. I’ve lost 2 very important people in the last five months and that’s hard.

Then I had the unfortunate luck of stumbling across an email in our work email (that I have access to, I was NOT snooping!) and found out that my coworkers and I may lose our jobs in August (something I’m not even supposed to know, so many of you are hearing this for the first time too). So I just put an application in for a PCT position at the hospital near me… so wish me luck on that!

With the news of my job, I decided to try to make a little extra income on the side, crafting! I started an Etsy shop, where I sell t-shirts (and soon I’ll be selling cups, decals, and stickers as well so stay tuned)! The link below will open a new window and take you to my Etsy page so feel free to go check it out and purchase something fun! Every purchase goes directly towards my textbooks and tuition. I do custom stuff as well if you reach out to me personally! It’s fun trying to turn my love of vinyl goodies into a little side hustle.

backporchvinylco.etsy.com

So we are only in July and life has been crazy. I’m nervous to see what the rest of the year has in store but I couldn’t be more excited about it at the same time. And yes, I do plan on posting more often on here again. Thank you to everyone who supports me and is sharing my posts and purchasing my stuff. Even a share really does a lot of good and gets the word out, and it means the world to me. I am truly a blessed woman and God is still good, y’all. Don’t forget to look for the good in the world because if you’re not looking, you won’t see it… and I promise there is still more light than darkness.

Enjoy this picture of me enjoying my second legal margarita, lol! 😉

Queens

I am incredibly lucky right now to be able to say that I have many friends, some I’ve known for a long time and some I’ve know for a month, but I have people that support and love me. And I feel so so lucky. This post is dedicated to y’all.

I haven’t always been this lucky though. When my ex and I broke up, my family had my back but I had no friends. Absolutely none. So I started reaching out to people and rebuilding my life.

I take that back. My sister, my lifelong best friend, has never left me to suffer alone. She has been there through some of my toughest times, for my entire life. When I was 16 and got stood up for the first time, she made me take her and her boyfriend out since I was dressed and didn’t need to waste a decent outfit. Even tonight, she took the nail polish off my toes for me because I was too lazy to do it. I don’t know what I would do without her and I will always be grateful that God chose us for each other.

Thank goodness also for a coworker of mine who I truly think of as a best friend. She doesn’t judge me and I’m thankful that I can come to work and talk her ears off OR say nothing at all, and she still supports me.

I messaged his ex from before me. We couldn’t stand each other for years but we’re so much alike and our friendship works so well. We found out that he treated us the same. That he talked us out of doing things to improve our lives because he wants the girl he’s with to be below him. We found out that our shared experience with this boy was something that we could bond over for the time being but now we have so much to talk about. She’s smart, bold, and successful. I consider her to be one of my best friends. I’m even going to her wedding, and if that’s not a friendship turn around, I don’t know what is.

Then I reached out to a sweet girl from high school. We went to eat Mexican food for lunch and ended up sitting in that booth, laughing and talking until almost 5 in the afternoon. That lunch was the most I had laughed in months, and I will always be grateful to her for making me realize that I was still in there. She’s funny, nice as all get out, and has such a sweet soul. Another best friend.

I worked with a kid at Subway years ago who had a girlfriend (at the time) that I looked up to so much. She was working as a CNA at the time and working on getting her pre-requisites done. I was thiiiinking about pursuing nursing but little does she know, she is the one who really inspired me to do that. Fast forward to the summer my life felt like it was falling apart, and there she was in my anatomy class! She’s intelligent, hard working, and so caring. We became close again and we still keep in touch because our journeys are so alike in so many ways.

And tomorrow, I’m meeting a friend of mine who I went through CNA school with for dinner. We wiped butts together y’all and now we’re both going to nursing school… she’s almost done actually and she’s going to do so well. She was my clinical partner for a semester, but a friend for life. And I am thankful to still be able to reach out to her and know that she would still be here for me if I needed her.

I have had people who I trusted that broke my heart. I have had best friends who told lies about me, turned our mutual friends away from me. Some of these people have reached out to me since, so we’re rebuilding our friendships and are closer than ever! Sometimes our friends hurt us without the intentions of hurting us, and I get that. Some of these people, though, pretend like I don’t exist and that’s fine too because I am not for everybody.

I am honest, and loud, and boy once I start on something, there’s no stopping me. I’m opinionated without being judgey… but I’ve been shushed for a long time so now I’m out here making my presence known. I have my share of flaws, I’ve done things I’m not proud of but I will own up to it. I am so thankful that I have a few close friends who accept my personality, and love me even more for just being myself. I am so warmed by the people I have around me and for the first time in a long time, I am happy to say that I am 100% okay if you want to judge me by who I surround myself with because I am surrounded by strong, wonderful people.

Real queens fix each other’s crowns.